There is something about the Christmas season that makes you feel you are to be just a bit more joyful, is there not? As though the sparkling neighborhoods and classic carols will glimmer over those things that might otherwise prove difficult, or at least we assume that if indeed this is the season of good cheer, as all those Hallmark movies and outdated tunes might suggest, then we should have an easier time letting our discouragement melt away. Patience should naturally come more readily with our children, cooperation more effortless with our colleagues, quarrel free fireside chitchats with our lovers. All except for our journey towards nutritional healthy, as cookies seems to come alongside the merriment, so we’ll beat our bodies into submission come January, we anticipate everything else requiring relative ease. It is Christmas after all.
Although we should know better. Kindness towards others is not a switch you turn on like the lights wrapped around your Christmas tree. Patience does not willingly come aboard that toy train with its nostalgic chug along iron tracks, ready for a nice little joy ride. No diamond inlaid necklace or keys to a shiny new Tesla *or insert your desired lavish gift of choice* is going to make your reasons for sparring with your spouse melt into oblivion.
We will continue to be what we have been, with perhaps a fleeting thought to aspire to a bit more, while tinsel gives us the allusion that decorating the unsightly is a glorious way to make an effort.
A simple, yet desperately needed, thought came into view as I once again shared the pieces where I ache with my husband. None of it was new, and only a small portion that which has surfaced in this last year. A year we have all found a bit odd. He received my words, knowing of their repetitious manner, yet asked almost rather desperately, “Can we let it be Christmas?” He knows as well as I that a month of the year does not magically usher in resolve, whether to personal shortcomings or situational deficits. Yet in his longing for something to change, he asked as plainly as he could for this time of year to prompt a needed shift in my demeanor.
He was asking me to choose joy.
You might now already know that I am the pessimist of the family. (Just go back one writing.) This might be a characteristic I reserve for those most deeply connected to me, and admittedly there are not many who fall under that category. So when Jordan says something, I believe him to know best and would be wise to at least listen.
We are often reluctant to internalize what others share of us, let alone examine and expound upon it, but in this case, the challenge of his words were not enough. They needed to stretch much further beyond a sake to preserve the jolly of December.
When I at last let my mind drift off to sleep, it was to the thought of choosing joy. Part of which alluded to my need to fight against every temptation to respond with pessimism. Yet it seemed there was more there to consider, and what I woke to the next morning made it seem as though God was honoring my heart. I heard Eve singing “This is the day, this is the day that the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it…”
Joy. She was reminding me, unbeknownst to herself of course, to choose joy.
This is the day I have been given, and what benefit would it be to let the woes of my fears or discouragements be the foundation for what today will hold?
As a way to give this simple concept some traction, I began to think on three relatively tangible ways to let joy be something I choose rather than something I wait for.
- BE GRACIOUS
- Although graciousness with others is a notable thing, I am actually discovering more relevantly a need to be gracious with myself. Truth be told, I am incredibly hard on myself. Often leading me to comparison and internalizing my own criticism. To have a high standard of oneself I find to be essential, but where there is expectation without grace, you instead become merely a slave to all that you can do well and all that which you have failed.
Self-graciousness makes the plight one where joy has a place above failure.
2. RESPOND WITH FAVOR
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- If graciousness is to be allotted towards myself, then favor should be given generously to everyone else. Although I hope my first response is not to assume poorly of others, I also recognize that there is an entirely different level of intentionality when it comes to choosing favor, whether towards a spouse, a child, or a colleague. Often times too, our disposition towards others is what shapes our disposition towards a less than ideal circumstance.
Adjust the way we choose to see an individual and the situation carries a different weight.
3. LOVE DISCIPLINE
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- As much as I would love for the wave of good tidings to bring about this sudden ease towards perpetual joy, I know myself too well to know that such is not the case. We may indeed become slightly more generous or compassionate in light of the holiday season, but only out of a feeling of duty as opposed to stemming from a heart of authenticity. This is where discipline comes in, but to ask of our bodies and minds something that we only feel will assuage our guilt is equally as defeating.
To actually LOVE discipline is to instead have a zealousness for what you aspire to, like having a general disposition of joyfulness, and recognizing that discipline is the beautiful catalyst that will take you there.
So, can we let it be Christmas? Now seems the perfect time to start.
EXPOSITION: You may not be like me, but perhaps there’s a little choosing joy needed in all of us. How about you?
RISE: For each of the three ways noted above to prompt the choosing of joy, make them a bit more personal to yourself. Journaling is a wonderful way to process internal thoughts, but even just lighting a candle and spinning some instrumental music can create the space that your heart needs to sync up with your head.
DENOUEMENT:
A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. (Proverbs 17:22)
This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it. (Psalm 118:24)
You have put more joy in my heart than they have when their grain and wine abound. (Psalm 4:7)